Things To Do Once You’ve Finished Dance With Dragons

Crushing on fictional 13 year old girls is not "understandable".

1. Shower
2. Call work. See if you are still employed. Don’t mention the books. Mono. Limes disease. Car accident. Unexpected time-travel. Whatever. Just don’t mention the books.
3. Pay the energy and internet bills. Otherwise you won’t be able to access any Game of Thrones forums to debate whether having a crush on Dany is creepy, pathetic or understandable given the “strong characterization and reader intimacy”. Do not begin your forum handle with Khal.
4. Call your parents. Assure them that you didn’t fall off the wagon or develop a heroin problem.
5. Go outside. Remind yourself what sunlight feels like.
6. Refrain from uttering “Winter is coming” this fall.
7. Read the news. Reacquaint yourself with reality.
8. Feed your gerbil/bird/cat if its still alive. If its dead remember that you aren’t at The Wall; it won’t come back to life with blue eyes and eating it will make you a savage, not a man of the Night’s Watch or even a Wildling.
9. Open the window. Your room stinks.
10. Try not to think about the 5-7 years it will take for George R.R. Martin to finish the next book or the fact that he is a morbidly obese 63 year old.

PS. World of Warcraft is not a suitable tool to combat your Song of Ice and Fire withdrawal. Alcohol could work. Provided you aren’t alone.


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